Dizzyness

Feel abit... emmm.. i miss the halloween night. On friday, half way through the events... my stomach is turning, my head is heavy... i know i gonna vomitting, i stop eating eating and drink some ice water. we finish keep all things, i tell myself.. i muz ren, not to vomit till i reach my hm. I keep tell myself muz ren and close my eye in the taxi. I am the second to reach hm, and bath, the vomitting feel become worse but i know after vomitting my throat will feel worse so i ren.. and go to bed, the next morning i walk up, my head very dizzy, i cant balance well. My first thinking, i feel bad that i unable to make it to halloween night. I know my body well, tink is i didnt eat much things tat night due to my dizzy head. Honestly I am tired. I try to ask myself, what i really enjoy doing with pazzion?, i dont feel happy. not like last time. sometime really hate my life and i begin to understand the darkness in the world and in people. I just cant accept the darkness side of human and the world. Cant everyone treat everyone pure from the heart. Hate the world, i just want to be myself and not polluted. I think i am not suitable to the outside world.... actually i like working in-house...